brainsiphon

2011-10-22T10:33:00.000-04:00

I do not think of life as a gift,
because I don't, ah,
believe in Santa Claus.

I think of life history's most incredible,
and most staggeringly improbable,
stroke of blind fucking luck.

think of life not as what you've been given,
but as what you're getting away with.

brainsiphon

2011-10-19T10:29:00.000-04:00

most folks will fight for happiness.
most folks are fighting ruthlessly.
I fight to get to normal.
(normal ain't quite what it used to be.)

Dad says, "get a job,
see your friends, and ride your bike.
see the folks you love the most,
and do the things you like."

and I am much obliged for the
shipment that his army sent.
but I can't stand to think of lifting
up another armament.

tell me, who's to benefit?
tell why I fight the war.
tell me what it is, sir,
that I'm even fighting for.

for me, life takes defending.
for you, life's what you live.
is there a debt I haven't paid
that someone could forgive?

I need to know there'll come a time
when I can sleep unguarded,
and touch my lover with a hand
that isn't battle-hardened.

when I see walls that won't collapse.
when I won't fight or hide.
when I'll lay down my sword and shield
down by the riverside.

brainsiphon

2011-09-25T07:48:00.000-04:00

I'm Lincoln Beachey and I flew in the clouds,
and I flew to the ground to the thrill of the crowds.
I looped six loops, and I would've tried seven.
you thought I went to hell but I went to-

brainsiphon

2011-06-16T11:13:00.002-04:00

y'all got college degrees
and cars,
and that plus experience
is required to work your job,
I'm sure.
and the the reason I'm working with you
at all
is because you hire a temp
whenever you need someone
who can fucking count.
-poems from work (aka "filing")

brainsiphon

2011-06-16T08:54:00.003-04:00

this is
just
for now.

this is
just
for now.

this (how many) is
just
for (people) now.

(say) this (this)
just
for now (every day).

this is
just (for)
for (thirty years) now.

(?) this is
just
for now.

-poems from work

brainsiphon

2011-05-05T21:39:00.000-04:00

possible to be or not to be afraid of that?
that possibly I'm obsolete, like 8-track tapes and Betamax?
-aging

brainsiphon

2011-05-02T14:38:00.003-04:00

belligerent people at the back of the bus:
so far I've overheard
"fag," "nigger," and "John Cena,"
so I'll just stay here in the front,
thanks.

brainsiphon

2011-04-08T11:24:00.000-04:00

"greeting with the jungle
we obtained the recreation and the plays
we obtained very that you want
honey we know the names"
-GNR with Babelfish syntax

brainsiphon

2011-04-08T11:21:00.002-04:00

"throw father down the stairs his hat I."
-English with German syntax
(or so I've been told)

brainsiphon

2011-04-08T11:18:00.001-04:00

I am fairly certain there is no god.
the only hole in my theory:
ketchup exists.

brainsiphon

2011-04-08T11:17:00.002-04:00

I wouldn't punch a first grader in the face.
ever.

that is not to say that
a) he wouldn't deserve it
b) I don't think about it
c) I wouldn't fucking love to

brainsiphon

2011-04-08T10:55:00.002-04:00

at the optometrist I'll say
"could you dilate just one eye?
I want to be Ze Frank for Halloween."

brainsiphon

2011-04-08T10:54:00.001-04:00

don't call it "ants on a log!"
I'm a vegan, dammit,
don't make me empathize with my raisins!

brainsiphon

2011-04-08T10:20:00.002-04:00

so long as their parents aren't in the room,
I can say to my students on my way out,
"Catch U Next Tuesday!"
-Tuesday/Thursday tutoring

brainsiphon

2011-04-08T10:17:00.003-04:00

I've got more hair on my head than I need.
bzzzzzt!
I've got more hair on my face than on my scalp.
bzzzzzt!
I've got more hair in my pits than on my head.
bzzzzzt!
I've got more hair on my balls than-

.

bzzzzzt!

brainsiphon

2011-04-08T10:15:00.005-04:00

my finger doesn't close
and
a piece of my lip doesn't move.
these ways that I will never be the same again.

brainsiphon

2011-04-08T10:15:00.003-04:00

she keeps calling me a "man old."
-English with Spanish syntax

brainsiphon

2011-04-02T11:45:00.003-04:00

when people say "sex organ"
I imagine a church organ made of dildos.
not really, I just thought that up.
not sure my wang is any kind of organ, really.
oh, wait, the internet says it is.
well ok then.

(organ made of dildos.
amirite?)

brainsiphon

2011-04-02T11:02:00.002-04:00

my day is passing average down to boredom, normal, boiler-plate,
this glass of water's just a glass of steam in a solid state.

brainsiphon

2011-04-02T10:54:00.004-04:00

I'm glad that people recognize my artistry as a poet,
but I truly wish I were recognized for my true passion,
cunnilingus.
-tortured artist

brainsiphon

2011-04-02T10:54:00.002-04:00

synchronous menstruation
means you're lesbian vampires
in love.

it's the only real explanation.
-a man

brainsiphon

2011-04-02T10:47:00.002-04:00

you know what?
maybe moths are just cold!

brainsiphon

2011-04-02T10:40:00.002-04:00

gotta write in my notebook before I take a piss.
-prose before hose

brainsiphon

2011-04-02T10:39:00.003-04:00

mama always said,
if I drank any more milk I'd turn into a cow.

mom apparently wasn't a mammal.

(these days I settle for soybeans.)

brainsiphon

2011-04-01T14:55:00.001-04:00

slit her little glitter clit on Twitter.
-for the kids

brainsiphon

2011-04-01T14:52:00.002-04:00

dear sir,
thank you for your kind address.
I think I should like to be written
in the form of a letter.
sincerely,
-poem

brainsiphon

2011-04-01T14:51:00.000-04:00

I am thus so lashed to the mast.

brainsiphon

2010-12-02T22:25:00.002-05:00

tired of paying the good boyfriend tax.

brainsiphon

2010-11-21T20:17:00.001-05:00

if I sleep I sleep alone,
my body pillow ain't returning my calls.

brainsiphon

2010-10-11T11:52:00.000-04:00

I'm always putting
e
,
and
also
y
,
on
the
ends
of
words,
words
that don't end
in
e
or
y.

sometimes spellcheck
doesn't catch them.

like every.

I put
a
y
on the end
of
every
ever time.

brainsiphon

2010-09-15T22:24:00.001-04:00

it will be interesting to see what happens.
I will possibly hug you
or throw you into the river.
or throw myself into the river.
or some combination of these.

brainsiphon

2010-09-04T22:00:00.002-04:00

those things that people tell you
that you know, "this thing you told me,
I will think about this
all the time,
that I flare my nostrils when I play guitar.
I will think about it every time I play guitar
for the rest of my life."
you think it a thousand times
because someone told you once.

brainsiphon

2010-07-23T11:46:00.001-04:00

lost wallet/found wallet.

1/2 hour of my life goes thbthbthbthbthbthb.

brainsiphon

2010-06-28T13:58:00.001-04:00

I'm just a pattern in disorder.

brainsiphon

2010-06-22T20:50:00.001-04:00

an arm and a leg and the vision that fades
was the price of admission I paid.

brainsiphon

2010-06-21T15:43:00.000-04:00

my mind a mound of sand on a cracked pane of glass.

I could explain it but I'm sure it would go over your head.

brainsiphon

2010-06-21T15:42:00.000-04:00

she can make it so good
with nuttin'
but spit n tits.

brainsiphon

2010-03-28T11:17:00.001-04:00

brush your teeth and have an apple.

brainsiphon

2010-03-28T11:16:00.001-04:00

sideburns are an iterative process.

brainsiphon

2010-03-22T22:07:00.003-04:00

kept the wound clean but I kept picking at it.
I've got to live with myself but it's like living with an addict.

brainsiphon

2010-03-22T22:07:00.001-04:00

"What if Cthulu was inside a large vagina?"
-my job on Monday nights is editing kinky podcasts.

brainsiphon

2010-01-19T20:47:00.000-05:00

I'm really looking forward to the day
when everyone gets off The Godfather's dick.
(it will never ever happen)

brainsiphon

2010-01-16T15:25:00.000-05:00

running a meeting on how others should run meetings.
-planned obsolescence.

brainsiphon

2010-01-04T22:28:00.001-05:00

this is my last night as a young man.
I've kept this blog for a year.
holy fucknuts,
I really need to get on saving the world!

brainsiphon

2010-01-04T22:27:00.001-05:00

I hope you read my letter.
it costs you fucking nothing.

brainsiphon

2010-01-04T22:14:00.000-05:00

dear hot bitches:
the fuck is taking you so long?

brainsiphon

2010-01-04T22:10:00.001-05:00

so straight that I'm gay for women.

brainsiphon

2010-01-04T22:07:00.001-05:00

I want to fuck from you your brains.

brainsiphon

2010-01-04T22:02:00.004-05:00

what I want:
to nuzzle you
is to rub my nose against your bare neck,
is to hold your cheek,
is to turn your face to mine and kiss you,
is to feel your bare breasts under my wrist,
is to lick your lips,
is to wrap you in my arms,
is to climb up up atop you,
is to slide off your remaining fabrics,
is to exhale against you,
is to feel you in every possible way and angle,
is to slide within you,
is to make love to you,
is to love you,
is to fuck you,
is to fucking love making loving fuck with you,
is to make you come come come come & come.

what I want is to nuzzle you.
the rest will be follow-through.

brainsiphon

2010-01-04T21:55:00.003-05:00

someone once played me a song
sung overtop a mandolin
about a man slicing open his hand
when his lover snuck up behind him.

the river : the land :: memories of you : you.
(every time I think of you I remember you less and less)

and when I think of something I've not recalled
in so many months since you mouthed a goodbye
through a crackling earpiece
and all I could do with our last-ever conversation
was draw it out,
the sting is so fresh
because I've not spent the time on this one thought
(how you got so so wrapped up in movies
that could scare you, even as you knew they were shitty)
to blunt it, and you,
to sand away your edges.

and I realize just how much you still hurt.

sometimes you sneak up on me.
but I didn't bleed for you this time.

brainsiphon

2009-12-19T10:12:00.001-05:00

what's moving on but getting thick to memories of you?

brainsiphon

2009-12-16T09:17:00.003-05:00

if the show sucks
nobody kisses me and strokes my hand
and nobody disses me, they don't know who I am.

brainsiphon

2009-12-16T00:16:00.002-05:00

a pro basketballer feels
the rubber stippled ball in his hand
on and off the court,
all day and in his sleep,
the way I feel your flesh on my teeth.

brainsiphon

2009-12-16T00:15:00.001-05:00

hot/cold
hot/cold
can't tell so often which is which.
I think you got your faucets switched.

brainsiphon

2009-12-13T18:14:00.000-05:00

articulate
is not a word I'd use.
-watching The Making Of Myst III

brainsiphon

2009-12-13T12:53:00.001-05:00

closing my
eyes and
moving
my head
to hear
how the
sound of
the river
changes.

brainsiphon

2009-12-13T12:07:00.001-05:00

poems are short, declarative statements.
-no room for opinion!

brainsiphon

2009-12-13T12:04:00.003-05:00

a thing,
of which I am sick:

misused apostrophe's.

brainsiphon

2009-12-13T12:04:00.001-05:00

all the difference between a sloth and an artist
is an open notebook.

brainsiphon

2009-12-13T01:01:00.001-05:00

stop singing hey jude please.
it's horrible karaoke.
are you having any fun singing
the same refrain for 4 minutes?
there is only one Paul McCartney
and if the rumors are true
even that's overestimating.

brainsiphon

2009-12-13T00:44:00.000-05:00

in one way full,
in one way hungry,

the beast with two stomachs.

brainsiphon

2009-12-09T14:05:00.000-05:00

discount mail order brides!*

*(some assembly required)

brainsiphon

2009-11-30T14:41:00.001-05:00

one stripe.
whew.

brainsiphon

2009-11-29T09:19:00.002-05:00

a thing,
of which I am sick:

when people use commas, unnecessarily.
and sometimes randomly capitalize Nouns and pronouns
as though They were speaking german (often leaving proper Nouns
uncapitalized, though that's not nearly as irritating
as when they open parentheses and forget to close them.

brainsiphon

2009-11-26T01:09:00.001-05:00

you don't get my poems.
they're suffistikatd.

brainsiphon

2009-11-26T01:08:00.001-05:00

sleep is for the weak!
so are typing skills!
m;jahdkjfa;oidsj;fj;ahsd;fjaiuehs!

brainsiphon

2009-11-26T01:06:00.001-05:00

don' wan' an'mate n' mo'

brainsiphon

2009-11-26T01:05:00.001-05:00

you'd die for him,
you'd only let me die for you.

(stop stop stop telling me you love me)

brainsiphon

2009-11-19T21:43:00.002-05:00

I'm gonna write these words
and if you happen to feel
a squeezy grip on your heart
or any other organ,
feel a memory bleed from your brain into your eyes
and down your cheeks to your mandolinist fingers
hovering over your laptop computer
it's your own goddamn fault.

and I'm gonna walk at you swinging my arms like this!

brainsiphon

2009-11-19T21:40:00.001-05:00

I guess there's only so long I could cop smoke
off your fire
til I started coughing
and you took out the candle-snuffer.

brainsiphon

2009-11-19T21:27:00.001-05:00

you protected all your feeds,
locked up your sites,
hid all your pictures.

it's like you've left me all over again.

brainsiphon

2009-11-12T11:27:00.000-05:00

no matter how much I eat
I am not enlightened.
-sage

brainsiphon

2009-11-08T21:23:00.003-05:00

hopefully neither of us is you
anymore.

brainsiphon

2009-11-08T21:20:00.002-05:00

take off your coat and let your troubles

float

like

soap

bubbles

brainsiphon

2009-10-29T10:22:00.001-04:00

"you look happy."
"I'm in therapy!"

brainsiphon

2009-10-29T10:20:00.003-04:00

you know that old adage about banana pancakes?

...there isn't one.
silly.

but if you thought one up when I suggested it
leave it in the comments.
-poem!

brainsiphon

2009-10-29T10:14:00.000-04:00

swine flu is for the birds.
and SARS is for pigs, QED.

brainsiphon

2009-10-28T11:18:00.002-04:00

I used to think heaven was a couch in Belmont.
but if one were to imagine two couches racing,
and why wouldn't one?,
then my green hotel-lobby-lookin' sofa might just have taken the lead.

I think of one for whom I play a song
and lie beside, checking,
"is this okay?"
and find her answer "yes,"
so comfortable under my fingertips,
that girl,
there's magic in her.

I think of one who sleeps there quietly and listens to me,
shuffling sleepily in the morning
to draw turtles on scrap paper
and hide them on my desktop,
or make paper hugs
or well-wishing notes;
all our friendship could fold into paper airplanes.

and I think of one to took an hour there,
one-two-three,
thank you much I've still got it,
and another round just because
back nail-scarred and my neck absolutely brutalized
by the suction of her lips,
because there are no sheets on my bed
but soon enough there will be and she'll be there,
tied up and blindfolded and fucked from behind.

gracious, for a moment at least,
it's alright.
it is doublequite alright.

brainsiphon

2009-10-28T11:13:00.002-04:00

light in my bedroom.
as the leaves go pale
they make better mirrors for the sunlight
and bounce it obligingly
on my face while I'm sleeping,
thanks guys!
it's life on a short burning fuse,
leaves will fall
and it will be darker than ever
in my bedroom
in the morning.

it's as though someone tapped the trees
of their color
rather than their sap and syrup;
somewhere in Providence is a person
with a jar of spring's green.

brainsiphon

2009-10-28T11:12:00.000-04:00

this is my next poem.
it was not about elephants until this sentence.

brainsiphon

2009-10-22T09:46:00.001-04:00

somewhere you're suffering
and me,
here,
without hands,
and you,
there,
with your rusty hacksaw.

had I but limbs I'd hold you now.

brainsiphon

2009-10-19T20:19:00.001-04:00

had sex
for the first time in a very great while
on, if memory serves,
our anniversary.

not with you, obviously.

brainsiphon

2009-10-19T19:38:00.002-04:00

fingers on skin and fingernails the same
grass stains bite marks
evidence of the struggle not to kiss you,
homewrecker,
standing directly between you and your boyfriend,

like a condom.

brainsiphon

2009-10-19T19:37:00.001-04:00

the internet is what it feels like to be
up to my cock in sarcasm.

brainsiphon

2009-10-16T23:16:00.002-04:00

to the three or so people that tell me
"dear,
you are pretty.
you are rare.
you are amazing."

it seems to me that if I were pretty,
if I were rare,
if I amazed anyone,
my life would be a lot different.

but I am trying,
trying,
with all the traces of strength remaining,
and with the strength I steal from you,
to see it your way.

brainsiphon

2009-10-16T23:15:00.000-04:00

what is a poem
but a facebook status
that's too good for facebook

brainsiphon

2009-10-16T23:00:00.003-04:00

"I love you," I said,
apropos of nothing.

explication:
my love means that there is a corner of my life
where I feel you belong,
means you have entered and nothing will be closed from you,
means you are treasured;
my love means you have the power to impress and imprint,
means you have less a name and more a firebrand;
my love means I trust you,
means you get the same words as everyone else
but also the meanings behind them;
my love contains a romance but is not of it;
my love means I would hold you till you ask me to let you go.

it does not mean I want to fuck you.
(though I do.)

it means I'll hold you regardless.

brainsiphon

2009-10-16T22:57:00.001-04:00

I pass through undigested.

brainsiphon

2009-10-16T22:56:00.004-04:00

don't wear heels.
you may need to chase me.

brainsiphon

2009-10-16T22:56:00.003-04:00

a five dollar truffle and a four knuckle shuffle.

brainsiphon

2009-10-16T22:56:00.001-04:00

you don't want me. I'm a mess.

brainsiphon

2009-10-16T22:55:00.000-04:00

working with women and mancubs.
-my job

brainsiphon

2009-10-10T18:18:00.001-04:00

thoughts and nastier things clog my head when I get sick.

brainsiphon

2009-10-10T18:15:00.001-04:00

more monks would break their vows of greater silence
if they had video games.
(MOTHERFUCKING JUMP WHEN I FUCKING TELL YOU TO!)

brainsiphon

2009-10-09T20:47:00.000-04:00

for the first time in two years
I listened to your music.

everything I ever believed about you
I still believe.

brainsiphon

2009-10-09T15:02:00.003-04:00

to use a metaphor:
my family's relationship with god
as
a sandwich cookie.

my father the cream filling,
on top my grandfather the minister,
at bottom myself the atheist.

drained the faith completely in only two generations.

my father still doesn't know.
he may still believe himself the one
that moved our family just left of center,
into faith without piety.
but he was the middle of the funneling-out.

god always drowns the sandwich cookie in milk.
-(didn't know how to end this one)

brainsiphon

2009-10-02T13:34:00.001-04:00

don't speak to me from the bottom of your throat.

brainsiphon

2009-10-02T11:02:00.001-04:00

clean-shaven.
not anxious.
the inside of my hat smells fine.
-lies!

brainsiphon

2009-09-26T23:29:00.000-04:00

between your peel and core
I haven't eaten the apple yet.

brainsiphon

2009-09-25T01:58:00.000-04:00

it would take a train and two buses
to get in your personal space.